I have a song from preschool stuck in my head today:
“Today is someone’s birthday, this I know.
Today is someone’s birthday, we like her so.
Today is someone’s birthday, who could it be?
Today is Amy’s birthday-ee”
Yup. Today I turn the big whopping 25. That’s about as much as I want to talk about it too. Last year when I wrote my birthday post “24 Things to Happen in my 24th year”, I had the very same feelings about getting older as I do this year. You just have to add 1 to 24 and subtract another year from the time I have left to cram everything in. From my post last year:
Today Iâ€™m celebrating my 24th birthday. As far as birthdays go, this has been the toughest for me to face. So many of my friends and family have said â€˜Oh, 24 is no big dealâ€¦ Youâ€™re young yet!â€¦ Wait until you turn 30, then youâ€™ll have something to worry aboutâ€¦â€™ Yet 24 still seems unfair to me. Iâ€™m old enough to be a bone fide adult with a career and a house payment, but so much of life (having a family, establishing a community, reaching goals) is unchartered territory. I also thought Iâ€™d have much more accomplished at 24; thereâ€™s still so much good work left to do! Itâ€™s a bit overwhelming to be old enough to go at it alone, but be young enough to not know the way.
Don’t get me wrong, I had a fantastic 24th year. Full of fresh and exciting challenges including some freelancing and some new non-profit work I’m anxious to continue with. Full of good food and good meals with friends. Full of a blog that continues to exceed all of my wild and crazy expectations. I even made a dent on my list from last year, especially finding more time to spend eating and growing the local food I love most. But as always, time passes way faster than I’d like. I still feel the pressure that there’s much left for me to accomplish and even less room for error.
So this year, I’m creating a different kind of birthday list. I’ve still written my 25 aspirations for this year; a tradition is a tradition. But instead of plastering them up to regularly remind me, I’ve tucked them away until Birthday #26. Less focus on what I have or haven’t finished yet, and more focus on the moment. Maybe this time next year I will have finished some or all. Maybe not. It’s hard to say. What I do know is my 25th year needs to be focused less on accomplishments and more on being comfortable in my own skin.
I cringe when people say “life is about the small things.” It’s completely revolting for a Type-A-Anal, Overly-Ambitious, Anxiety-Prone, Irrationally Perfectionist person like me. Not one bone in my body likes to relax and just “live in the moment.” I’m so focused on analyzing/reflecting/unpacking the previous moment, efficiently multi-tasking in the current one, and strategically planning for best outcomes in the future, there’s no time for relaxing. That is until I turned 25.
This year–in every practical sense–my birthday list looks like this:
1. Let it be.
2-25. Repeat #1.
We’ll see how it goes. I’m guessing there will be a some good stories worth sharing along the way. Many thanks to all of you for being a part of Year 24 and for staying with me through 25.